Wedding Planning
Congratulations on your engagement!
Planning your wedding can be one of the most exciting times of your life and we are happy to be part of your special day!
Even more importantly, we want to help you prepare for a happy, holy, and life-long marriage.
St. Thomas More Wedding Contacts:
Father Chuck Adam, Pastor
adamc@diodav.org or 319-337-2173 x110
Luigi Enriquez, Coordinator of Music Ministry
coralstmmusic@diodav.org or 319-337-2173 x113
Maricarla Rohret, Parish Office Manager
coralstm@diodav.org or 319-337-2173 x101
Teresa Tholany, Flower Ministry
tobrien2016@gmail.com
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We have prepared this page to help guide you through the process. By answering common questions about getting married at our parish, this site sets forth guidelines that we trust you will follow.
The First Step
Contact Fr. Chuck (info on first page) to schedule an initial meeting before selecting a wedding date. At St. Thomas More Church, we understand that preparing for marriage is an important and deeply personal journey for each couple. Our marriage preparation process is designed to support and guide you as you embark on this sacred union. Your date/time will be secured on the church calendar after your conversation with Fr. Chuck and when down payment has been received.
Parish Registration
The church requires that at least one member of the engaged couple be a registered parishioner as you begin preparation for the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony may begin. If you are a member of another Catholic Parish, let the priest preparing you know in order to obtain delegation.
Choosing A Date/Time
Weddings may take place at St. Thomas More Church on Fridays or Saturdays. To accommodate our housekeeping and liturgy schedules, the latest time for a Saturday wedding Mass is 2:00pm and the latest time for a Saturday wedding ceremony is 2:30pm. Friday weddings may be held late afternoon or in the evening. Although weddings may be celebrated at St. Thomas More during Advent and Lent, we prefer other times of the year for this celebration because of the prayerful and penitential nature of these seasons. Church Art & Environment guidelines must be observed during Advent and Lent (ex: the absence of flowers during the Lenten season).
Planning The Wedding Liturgy
“Should we have a Mass or Ceremony and what would that include?” See table below for description.
Mass | Ceremony |
Entrance Rite
|
Entrance Rite
|
Liturgy of the Word
|
Liturgy of the Word
|
Rite of Marriage
|
Rite of Marriage
|
Liturgy of the Eucharist
|
Conclusion of the Celebration
|
Concluding Rite
|
It is appropriate and encouraged that a Mass be celebrated when both members of the engaged couple are Catholic and a Ceremony be celebrated when one of the members is a baptized Christian of another denomination, or is a non-Christian, or is not baptized. The sacrament of Holy Matrimony is not lessened when Mass is not chosen and there are many reasons why you may or may not choose to celebrate your wedding with Mass. Our Pastor can help you make that decision when you meet with him.
The congregation actively participates in both spoken and sung parts of the liturgy.
·Readers may be family members or close friends with a good speaking voice.
·Gift presenters may be family members or close friends.
·Communion ministers may be family members, close friends, or provided by the Church;
-they must be trained Communion Ministers in good church standing.
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Wedding Readings
The readings at a Catholic wedding liturgy are a proclamation of God’s Word and of the Church’s faith about marriage. For this reason, they are limited to readings from the scriptures (the Bible). There are nine options for the first reading from the Old Testament, thirteen options for the second reading from the New Testament, and ten choices for the Gospel. You choose one from each of these categories.
You may find it helpful to reflect prayerfully on each reading and to choose those that speak to your hopes and dreams for your Christian marriage. The links below include the reading options in their entirety, as well as commentary to provide some context and highlight key themes in each reading.
Wedding Music
Choosing music – Marriage in the Catholic Church is a liturgical celebration and songs played during the wedding ceremony should focus on the religious nature of love – the love that exists between God and the couple being married – and the sacred character of Holy Matrimony. Any music which would be appropriate at Mass or other liturgical rites is also appropriate for your wedding. If one member of the couple is a Christian of another denomination, it may be appropriate to include music from their Church’s hymnal. The place to focus on the romantic aspects of love is at the reception which is a social and cultural celebration. Musicians and cantors are provided by the Church; any non-Parish musicians, cantors or soloists must be approved by the Coordinator of Music.
A cantor leads the congregational singing which includes the Responsorial Psalm, Gospel acclamation and, if a Mass is chosen, the Eucharistic acclamations. The pianist plays prelude music before the ceremony, processional and recessional marches in addition to accompanying the cantor and congregation.
Other types of instruments may be brought in with approval. Many couples choose a family member or friend as a guest soloist or musician for one particular piece of music, such as a prelude, but a cantor from our parish leads the music for the rest of the ceremony. All music/musicians must be approved by our Music Director.
The Wedding Rehearsal
Respect for God’s house – Please respect the church as the sacred place that it is.
Each step of your wedding ceremony will be practiced at the wedding rehearsal which is usually held on the evening before your wedding. All those involved in the wedding ceremony should attend the rehearsal to become familiar with their roles. This includes parents, grandparents, gift bearers, lectors and members of the wedding party including flower girl(s) and the ring bearer, if applicable. We ask everyone to arrive promptly. A smooth, well-ordered rehearsal makes for a less stressful wedding ceremony.
Dressing Rooms
The wedding party may use the lower level prior to the wedding. There are many rooms from which to choose and restrooms are also available. Normally, the groom and groomsmen come already dressed.
Photography and Videography
A Catholic wedding is a liturgical ceremony. Care must be taken to see that the Mass and marriage rite are not disrupted by the taking of pictures or video. Flash photos may be taken as the bridal party is processing into and out of the church. They should be kept to a minimum during the Mass or ceremony.
Videotaping may be done from a stationary camera by the baptismal font, and/or from the back of the church.
Posed pictures may be taken in the church before and/or after the wedding. Pictures taken in the church following Saturday afternoon weddings must conclude by 4 p.m. to accommodate weekend church services.
Environment Of The Church For Weddings - Flowers And Decorations
Each of the seasons of the church has it's own colors and decor. It is recommended those colors and materials be considered when planning the wedding. Because the dates beginning and ending the seasons of the Church vary from year to year, please consult the Priest regarding the season applicable to your wedding.
1. Advent is a time of awaiting with the predominant color a blue violet. There is an Advent evergreen wreath present with candles throughout the season. Minimal decor and no flowers are present in the Church during this time.
2. After Christmas and through the end of the Christmas season, the primary color in the church is red with an abundance of Red Poinsettias.
3. Ordinary time follows the Christmas season with Green the predominant color. Dried natural flowers and green plants are used to enhance the setting during this winter season.
4. Lent is a somber period with violet the predominant color. There are no flowers permitted during this period. Festivities are limited during this time.
5. The color of the Easter season is white and is celebrated with an abundance of white Easter lilies and spring plants in both pastels and bright colors.
6. Ordinary time follows Easter and is the season for the remainder of the Liturgical year. Various colors of Green predominate. Fresh flowers from our own cutting garden are provided through the growing season for Sunday Mass by the Flower Ministry. As Fall arrives they are replaced with dried natural materials.
Personalizing Wedding Decor
Please consult the Flower Ministry early in the planning process for your wedding. No sprinkling of flower petals is permitted. You may choose to provide your own flowers for your wedding and may leave them after the service. If you desire decor other than that present in the church, it must be prearranged. In no case is it permitted to move plants or flower arrangements without prior permission. You are responsible for removing any alterations to the Church promptly after the service.
You may choose to decorate with floral arrangements at the ambo (the main microphone podium from which the scriptures are proclaimed) and/or on either side of the altar. There is no room for flowers in front of the altar since that is where couples stand to exchange their vows and rings. Florists are asked to work with the parish Flower Ministry when placing flower arrangements.
For reasons of safety and maintenance we ask you to adhere to our policy regarding rice, birdseed, sparklers, poppers, flower petals and the use of aisle runners. These represent safety hazards or maintenance problems and cannot be used on church grounds. Bubbles are allowed outside when the couple is leaving the church.